Monday, August 16, 2010

(A sampling of) My Friends

I have some of the best friend's a woman could ask for.

Some of them I've only been close with for a few months, others have been friends from the womb. (Or "Sisters from another Mister" as Mike calls them). I have a really tough time calling any of them my "best" friend though. I've learned (however slowly and after many tears and much heartache, oftentimes caused by something I said or did) that terms like that can alienate people, or put too much pressure on someone to perform to a level they are not capable of, and often left me with unmet expectations. Years ago my mom told me she didn't have a best friend. "I have many friends, all them close to me for different reasons. To call one person the 'best' is impossible." I really liked that. It sits well with me. I definitely have friends that are closer than others, and a tight circle of friends I share just about everything with, but to call one person my 'best' ... well, it's just too difficult. I guess I've just been blessed with too many options! (Please know that I do not have a problem with people having best friends. Many of my very dear close friends have someone they refer to as their 'best' friend and I find those relationships to be quite beautiful.)

That being said, I have some of the best friends a woman could ask for. I am proud of that. I love to think of my many friends and all they've given to me over the years and my heart, each and every time, is full with the blessings each of them have been and are.

This weekend I was able to visit and see many of my friends, two of them experiencing major milestones in their lives.
This is Melissa and her fourth child, born last Thursday evening. What a great way to start my weekend!
I love love love this picture that Melissa's husband captured right after Emme was born. Isn't this what total love looks like?!
Melissa and I have known each other for about ... 26ish years. Maybe more. We have been close and we have been not so close. There's something about those close years that has kept our friendship strong, even during the not so close years. During one of my largest most heartbreaking difficulties as a teen she was my biggest fan, my biggest support. She is the reason I was able to come out of that time intact. I don't know if I've ever been able to return that support or love on the same level; although, I hope she knows how dear she is to me.

Heh heh. This is Jessica. Another friend for just about my whole life. She had just shot one of those candy necklace things up her nose. Heh heh. This coming Wednesday she turns 30. Her husband and parent's threw a huge Hawaiian themed birthday party for her on Saturday. It was so great to see her in all her center-of-attention glory. Jessica was one of my confidante's ( do you spell that?!) while Mike and I were dating and during our first few years of marriage. Her baby is just a few weeks older than my oldest so these past few years we've found ourselves at very different points in life; she's working full time again, I'm still changing poopy diapers. Regardless, every time I visit with her it's like a breath of fresh air. At Halloween her mom bought me a box of Lik-M-Aids because we used to eat those all. the. time. For my 30th birthday Jessica got me a 7-11 gift card so I could buy slurpees because we used to eat those all. the. time. I just really love her; the youngest of my oldest friends.

Jessica used to have the best Barbie collection ever. My favorite doll was Jem (from Jem and the Holograms...oh yeah, you're singing the song, aren't you?!). She even had blinking earrings. One day, Jessica cut Jem's hair off. It almost ruined our friendship. When I would spend the night at her house, Jessica would make me scratch her back. Then when I would say, "Ok, I'm done. Now scratch mine."  she'd pretend to be asleep.  

Would you believe we've all been friends since elementary school? There's a few people missing from this picture who couldn't make it to the party but I love that I still get to see these women.
Oh...and Twyla, if you're reading this Brooklyn told me today that she was very sad when you didn't come to her birthday party and that you told her you were sad that she wasn't at yours. Apparently you had this conversation "yester night" at your house.

Here's one of the cool things about friends ... they have children. And our children can be friends and grow up together and in 30 years they can be attending each other's birthday parties and sharing stories about the old days. This is a picture of Levi and Simeon. Levi is my friend Andrea's son. He is about 4 months older than Simeon. Andrea and I have been friends for a really long time. We have been really good friends for just a few years. I am so glad our son's seem to be starting their really good friendship early on. And apart from the fact that Levi has two gauges in his face (courtesy of Simeon) and the fact that Simeon appears to have had one too many ... I think the friendship is pretty sweet.

Another really great thing about friends is that they like your children. This is Andrea. And Simeon refusing, again, to smile. There is something about seeing my friend snuggle my child that is so emotional for me. I just love it. And her. I love this.

I had to share this picture of Twyla because
1) My daughter blames her for every naughty thing she does, even though she's only met her once.
2) She loves my blog. She was reading it before I even made it public. She's a huge encouragement to me.
3) She's shameless. I love that about her. John Mayer anyone? Heh heh.
4) I love her.
5) Oh, and she also says things that get her into trouble. I won't embarrass her here, but I'll just say that when Twyla is around, I don't worry so much about what I say. Heh heh.

I'm overusing the heh's, aren't I? It's just that ... this weekend was fun. And I really love my friend's. And if I did a blog posting for each friend and why I love them I wouldn't have enough time.

So, for Jessica and two friends experiencing major milestones and life changes...
I love you both. So very very much.
Thank you for all you've given me over the years; your love, your advice, your patience, sometimes your money (!!) and most of all your friendship. You have helped to shape me into the woman I am today and I am honored to be your friend.



CM said...

Oh, what a sweet post! How fun, looks like you have great friends!

twyla said...

I made it on the blog AND got a list. I feel so special today!! I was so glad I got to see you but wish it could have been for a much longer time. I think I am already planning my next trip up there because I already miss everyone. Of course, I have no idea what you mean about me having a big mouth full of foot all the time... haha! It is part of my charm!
BTW, best picture ever of mom and new baby. Well done, Melissa!!

Sister Copinherhair said...

Great post! I have to point out that you DO have a best friend...wouldn't that be Mike? Or is it Dave Ramsey??? ;)

Momma Hen said...

CM: They really are the best!
Twyla: Just tell me WHEN! I'll get it on my calendar! Isn't that picture great? My gosh...wish I could take the credit for it.
Sister: Ha! Dave Ramsey of course! Hehe!

Jess said...

I love you too!! What a beautiful friend you are. Truly a gift from God. (and I'm super excited I made it on your blog!! even if you posted the pic of me after the candy necklace thing shot up my nose. haha...)