Thursday, December 24, 2009

Fear

This morning, as is usual, I sent Mike a text before I got out of bed. Most days he won't be able to get back to me right away, he's in briefing or doing school zones, but I like to send one anyway so he knows I'm up and that he can call when he gets the chance. This morning he called back about an hour later. It is always so good to hear his voice. We made the usual chit-chat; "how are the kids?" "how did you sleep?" "what are you having for breakfast?"...boring really! When I asked him what he planned on doing today he said, "Well, right now I'm on my way to meet my dad for coffee." Wow. One small little thing and my heart started racing. Coffee. I'm pretty sure every spouse of a police officer has had a near panic attack during the last month when having coffee has been mentioned. (google Lakewood police shooting if you are unaware of what I'm referring to.) But what good does worrying do for me? None. I have cried, I have whined, I have worried, I have prayed...Mike has told me that God has a plan and nothing we do will change that. He also said he believes that God's plan for him is to come home every night. I like to believe that, but I don't want to be naive and think that God's plan is always what we want His plan to be. Regardless, whatever God's plan is for my husband, for our family, I need to just trust Him. Rest in Him. Give my worries and fears and concerns over to him. And then let my husband have coffee with his dad.

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